Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Fasting

He won't eat.  He keeps throwing up and he is tired, and he says his stomach feels "tight."  I fantasize about forcing open his jaws and pouring smoothies into his throat by using a funnel.  I wonder if I can get him to drink something in his sleep.  I buy yogurt and soup and watermelon.  I eat what he won't eat.  I eat my pain.  I eat my stress.  If I eat, maybe he will remember to.  I wonder when the last time we had a somewhat normal meal was, was it two weeks ago?  But even that meal wasn't normal.

I can't make him eat.  Even my nagging has gone too far.  But I can't bear watching him waste away.  I can't bear this.

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