The Beginning of the End

I want to get a first post up quickly, but there is so much to cover...

I started this blog as a way to pour my pain and fear out into the internet.  I've just turned 35, I have a son who is not yet two, and my husband has terminal cancer.

I used to think we were lucky.  So many people die suddenly in tragic accidents and things are left unsaid, no one is prepared.  But it has been over six months of this knowing, of this preparation, of treatment and caregiving.   And there's a point where this way just starts to look like torture.

Not that I want the torture to end.  This is awful, but what I dread the most is after.  I read the blogs of widows and two years later they are still depressed and grieving.